venom (2018) review

[randomfatechidna]

• surely, i thought. its 2:15 on a tuesday. please let the cinema be empty.
• it wasn’t
• honestly i was ready to watch the Worst movie i’ve ever seen because of the critic reviews but it was actually??? good???
• eddie n venom May be losers but they’re winners in my heart
• like okay not to woobify a Literal Murdering Alien but venom??? is a good boy
• “eddie. i like you now eddie. we’re a good match eddie. i love u eddie. make out with me eddie.”
• shouts out to jenny slate for being the Real and not deserving to die
• also shouts out to those flashing lights?? i thought y’all were playing when u said epileptics might have to leave the theatre for a bit. that shit was BRIGHT
• i really wanna read venom comics now thats about it

BONUS

• @every film critic ever. you’re wrong. signed and cosigned by literally every real person that went to see this movie,

BIG BONUS

• PUSSY